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Eight Crazy Nights
2002 - PG-13 - 75 Mins.
Director: Seth Kearsley
Producer: Allen Covert, Jack Giarraputo
Written By: Adam Sandler, Brooks Arthur, Allen Covert, Brad Isaacs
Starring: voices of Adam Sandler, Jackie Titone, Austin Stout, Jon Lovitz, Keaven Nealon, Rob Schneider
Review by: Carl Langley

Time out, when do I get paid for this garbage?
Which is a more painful experience: lying at home with food poisoning, vomiting every hour or having to sit through Adam Sandler’s new cartoon Eight Crazy Nights? Having endured both irritating extremities over the Christmas holidays, deciding which was more distressing and ulcerating is too close of a call.

Written by four different scriptwriters (including Sandler and his usual tag-along partner Allen Covert), Eight Crazy Nights features the usual gags and antics that can be found in Sandler’s previous films. Based on a short story by Sandler, any newfangled ideas were unnoticeable and obviously not funny. Columbia and Sony Pictures’ unprosperous, futile film could have done just as well bringing back Corey Feldman to be the voice of Davey Stone and not have to rely on Adam Sandler’s status to make the film profitable. It will not succeed.

Davey Stone is the central character of Eight Crazy Nights and he resembles the Scrooge from Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” in this movie. Davey Stone is an unfriendly, unscrupulous, and heartless scoundrel who wastes his holidays in a Chinese restaurant becoming drunk and useless. After causing trouble with the whole town once again, the judge threatens to throw him in the state penitentiary for ten years unless Davey can clean up his act. Whitey Duvall, a midget with two different size feet, volunteers to take Davey under his wing, only to emerge as the butt of Davey’s pranks and jokes.

The rest of the plot is not worth mentioning because the whole movie would be given away. No, not ruined, but given away because that is how short Eight Crazy Nights appears on the screen. The film is listed as 86 minutes, but fortunately the disaster is only 75 minutes long, with the rest of the time devoted to a cartoon short entitled A Day with the Meatball, viewed before its feature.

Adam Sandler is ultimately talented and has proved himself worthy in Punch-Drunk Love. Sandler is credited with lending his voice to the characters of Davey Stone, Whitey Duvall, Eleanor Duvall (Whitey’s sister), and the reindeer that appear throughout the film helpful as little elves. “Saturday Night Live” alumni Kevin Nealon, Rob Schneider, and Jon Lovitz try and help the film’s comical stature, but fail miserably. Adam Sandler’s co-stars from previous films including Covert (just about every movie featuring Sandler), Dylan and Cole Sprouse (the little boy from Big Daddy), and Carl Weathers (Happy Gilmore) also provide their vocals.

One positive that can be noted about the film is the creative and moderately funny songs that redeem the viewer from total boredom. Sadly to say, Sandler is at his best when his songs come to life. Four or five tunes materialize their way on the screen, but by then the dullness has slaughtered any creativity that dared to come into battle.

Eight Crazy Nights is targeted for teenagers, but lacks normal intelligence and is too vulgar for children. Every theme presented in the movie is immature, which will grant cold shoulders from adults. If there is ever a cartoon feature not meant for children, it should have the fearlessness and cleverness of South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. Otherwise, the time is wasted watching nothing but garbage.
Movie Guru Rating
Bland, boring, inept. Forgettable. Bland, boring, inept. Forgettable.
  1.5 out of 5 stars

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