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Charlie's Angels
2000 - PG-13 - 98 Mins.
Director: McG
Producer: Drew Barrymore, Leonard Goldberg, Nancy Juvonen
Written By: Ryan Rowe, Ed Solomon, John August
Starring: Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, Bill Murray, Tim Curry, Crispin Glover, Kelly Lynch, Luke Wilson, Sam Rockwell, Matt LeBlanc, Tom Green, LL Cool J
Review by: Carl Langley
   

Look mom, a wind tunnel!
Charlie’s Angels was supremely popular back in the 1970’s, the decade its television shows premeired. Farrah Fawcett, Kate Jackson, Jaclyn Smith, Shelley Hack, and Tanya Roberts were the five Angels fighting crimes spread out over the show’s five-year run. None of them opted to do cameos in the film version because of role disputes and money; you know the works. Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and Lucy Liu were cast instead, ranging the ethnic and beauty aspects to a long stretch. Their charm cannot glean any contentment and is utterly depreciated; their second run at mockery in Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle insinuates a joyous festivity only to be exhausted again in applesauce.

The premise is simple enough. The three pretty airheads take orders from a voice (John Forsythe) and go out and kick butt, stopping crime in the process. It was always hard to believe that three girls such as Fawcett, Jackson, etc. could throw the lasso around the evil cowboys, but Drew Barrymore? Cameron Diaz? At least Lucy Liu is a tad more credible, but her character’s head is so full of helium, one would not be surprised if she floated off screen. And believe me, if that was to happen, this is the type of ludicrous movie you could find it in.

Other note-worthy names appear throughout the film. Bill Murray plays Bosley and ends up sumo wrestling with Tim Curry, which is one of the few funnier moments the film donates. Sam Rockwell, that crazy rapscallion from The Green Mile, continues his evil ways playing a kidnapped millionaire; Crispin Glover takes on the Angels as The Thin Man in a very eerie role (go figure); Matt LeBlanc, Tom Green, and Luke Wilson – and why Mr. Wilson is even associated with TV Dunce and TV Toolbox is a mystery - are the beaus; even LL Cool J pops up on screen. When you have Cool James popping up for cameos, you are struggling for attention.

What is even more disheartening is the fact that the three leads wanted to be apart of this travesty, further proving this point by hopping on the saddle for its sequel. Mark my words, if they ever appear in Charlie’s Angels 3, their career will not even be more appealing than a burnt piece of toast.

I realize that if you did not grow up idolizing the show or lusting over their sex appeal, Charlie’s Angels will not hit the heart at home as hard as it could. Much like they ruined The Brady Bunch Movie, the parody of Charlie’s Angels features too much goofiness and too many innuendos. The movie wants to be satirical, but it only comes across as loud, obnoxious, and distressing to sit through. I would rather endure Legally Blonde again.
 
Movie Guru Rating
Bland, boring, inept. Forgettable. Bland, boring, inept. Forgettable.
  1.5 out of 5 stars

 
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