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Python
2000 - R - 100 Mins.
Director: Richard Clabaugh
Producer: Jeffrey Beach, Ken Olandt
Written By: Chris Neal, Gary Hershberger, Paul Bogh
Starring: Casper Van Dien, Frayne Rosanoff, Robert Englund, Jenny McCarthy, William Zabka
Review by: Joe Rickey
   
A cornball attempt at a comedy/horror combination, ‘Python’ instead comes across as unintentional comedy all throughout its running time because of pathetically inept special effects and poor performances by a cast of actors who have appeared in many well-known B-movies. An obviously low budget could be to blame for the special effects but the same can’t be said as an excuse for the acting in the film. One looking for a film about a giant snake eating or otherwise killing people would be better off renting ‘Anaconda’ or waiting until its sequel ‘Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid’ is released in theatres later this year.

When a military aircraft carrying a top secret government project crashes near the small town of Ruby no one thinks much of it despite the fact that the pilot and one other person on board have been determined to have died as a result of being covered with acid. So when the aforementioned government project, in this case a genetic hybrid of a snake reaching lengths of 100 (!) feet long starts its killing spree in Ruby the local police believe a serial killer to be on the loose. They even have a suspect in the form of John Cooper (Frayne Rosanoff), an avid BMXer and outdoorsman who has come back to the town to help his wayward brother run the family-owned plastic factory.

His being a suspect doesn’t last long though once the government assigns Agent Bart Parker (Casper Van Dien) to the case and he begins to question snake breeder extraordinaire Dr. Anton Rudolph (Robert Englund, hamming it up in one of his few non-Freddy Krueger roles) who speaks of a project to breed a snake with super powerful acid-spraying ability and scales tough enough to deflect anti-tank rounds (I’m not making this up).

Pretty soon the hunt is on for one gigantic snake created using some of the more rudimentary CGI technology I’ve ever seen.

Killer animal movies don’t get much worse than the abominable twaddle that is ‘Python.’ First off, while one obviously must suspend their disbelief when watching any film of this kind, ‘Python’ asks a little too much of the viewer.

For instance, a group of military types are firing at what they think is the snake, and I mean unloading on their target with bazookas, assault rifles, rocket launchers, etc. only to find out that they wasted all their ammunition on shed snake skin. One only hopes that the military would have more brains than is evidenced in this film, to say the least. Another rather unintentionally hilarious point to make about ‘Python’ is how a snake that is over 100-feet long is able to sneak up on unsuspecting people. You’d think that a snake that long would make quite a bit of noise and therefore be pretty hard to miss. Not in this film where various people are killed without even having a glimpse of the titular reptile.

Then there are the special effects for the giant snake. Let me tell you, they are perhaps the worst example of computer generated images ever put on film. The snake doesn’t even get close to blending smoothly into the environment and instead sticks out like a sore thumb. The creature isn’t even close to being frightening in the least either; compounding the problem for this would-be thriller.

‘Python’ is simply one more film to avoid in a veritable sea of killer animal movies.
 
Movie Guru Rating
A train wreck.  So bad some may find it unintentionally entertaining.
  1 out of 5 stars

 
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